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Question by funnyface: Atheist girl + Christian boy + sex = .... (long)?

I dont know how to feel about this guy I have been sleeping with and our situation. Okay so I am very atheist and he isn't the fanatical type of Christian but he is still pretty devout and sincere in his passion and belief in his religion. I never saw this coming honestly I tried to push him away because I just prefer not to get involved with religious people in a romantic or sexual way unless they are pagan or something. This guy however kind of chased me around for months trying to date me. I told him we can hang out and get to know each other but I'm not trying to get really involved or call anyone my "bf." To make a long story short, I am a very sexual person and I kind of pushed him on toward the idea of sleeeping together. He wasn't crazy about it at first - he gave the typical "its against my views, I want to but no..." I said okay and we compromised on making out. After a while that lead to everything but actual sex (you know oral, fingers, hands) and then actual sex just happened. So we have been sleeping together for a little while now. I love it, I mean like I said I am very sexual and I don't mind teaching him. I love sex. lol

Heres the prob though - he is starting to feel guilty about it. (This is just one reason why I can't stand religion. The irrational feeling of guilt to something as natural as sex. I digress...) Last night he just kind of sat by the side of the bed after instead of cuddling with me and I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he feels ashamed that he wasnt as in control as he has been raised to be. He apparently told his parents that we are sleeping together (he tells them like everything) and they were pretty angry. They asked him all kinds of questions about how he feels about me and he was saying that he told them that he loves me, he doesn't want any other girl, and he wants to marry me, etc. Um this made me incredibly awkward. I know how he feels about me and I love him as well but dropping the M-bomb on me like that was kind of out of nowhere. He knows that I don't even know if I ever want to get married period, much less get married right now when I'm in college and 20 years old! (I'd have to be like 30 at least) I just listened though because I knew thats what he needed. It's just awkward now. idk. What do you think we should do? Should I stop being with him ? I don't want to emotionally, physically, etc. because we have such a deep connection despite all our differences with religion. If I believed in soul mates I would say he is mine...but if he is so set on these ideals he has for his life where is that going to leave us? We are both so stubborn and we have such different ideas on what we want in life as far as ways to raise families and marriages go. It just wouldn't work. Anyway I don't want to hurt him, but I feel like no matter which way I go I end up hurting him. Even if we never get married, I could continue to sleep with him and be with him for a long time and still put up with the snotty looks I get when we are with his friends and family. It's fine with me because I own my sexuality and I refuse to let narrow minded people make me feel bad about it. Same with my views on religion because they believe he should be with a christian girl. He on the other hand values the opinions of his friends from church and his family etc. He hurts when they make backhanded comments, he is upset when they treat him different for being with me or tell him to drop me. There's no way but down it seems.

What do you guys think? Sorry about this being so long!
@christ is the savior:: why on earth would i delete your comment? its your opinion. you sound typically judgmental for a christian but you arent worth the effort it would take to delete your comment. say what you feel i dont care. if its useful ill consider it. yours wasnt so its as good to me as crap in the toilet. flush it down the drain and let it go. thats what i do. its all good.

Best answer:

Answer by A Modest Proposal
"Atheist girl + Christian boy + sex = .... (long)?"

Wording win.

Anyways, it seems like your relationship is too focused around sex. He doesn't seem comfortable with how it is right now, and you don't seem to be comfortable with taking it more seriously (perhaps that's the wrong wording - you just don't seem to be crazy about taking it as far as he wants). That's usually not good for a relationship.

Alaric: Eh, I wouldn't bring up R&J - double suicide at the end, preluded by at least 3 or 4 murders? Not the typical love story.

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Saturday, October 1, 2011

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